lieslieslies.net
Lies Lies Lies
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Mon, Nov 14 2011. Because you’re worth it. This girls worth a tenner, apparently. Just saw a L’Oreal advert telling me that if I buy some cheap crap from them, it’ll be because I’m worth it. This advertising slogan surely is an answer to the wrong question. Exactly how much do you think you’re worth? A bottle of this gunk is usually between 4 and 10 and if you don’t think you’re worth that then there are some serious issues you might need to deal with. That’ll be 30 from each of you. Thanks. Now, here’s ...
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Food myths « Lies Lies Lies
http://www.lieslieslies.net/food-myths
Wed, Nov 23 2011. A real Funsize Mars bar wil be two feet long. Rocket has been kidnapped by Chelsea types, who’ll simply not accept it’s merely a bunch of glorified dock leaves fit only for rabbits. The Chelsea tossers will, however, pay through the nose for it, which I suppose represents some sort of justice. And who thought of putting rocket on pizza? That’s like putting French dressing on chips.And what’s all this peppery business about? 8216;Soft scoop’ ice cream. Deal or No Deal. Runny pâté. Th...
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September « 2011 « Lies Lies Lies
http://www.lieslieslies.net/2011/09
Wed, Sep 28 2011. Ed Miliband – really? Ed Miliband - Morph. Last year the Labour Party chose Ed Miliband as their leader. It was a very bad decision based on the fact that the unions didn’t want his brother David Miliband because he looked too much like Tony Blair and that it would have been too sensible an idea. Ed Miliband has proved over the past 12 months that he is not a leader in any way shape or form. He might make an extremely good character for Creature Comforts but unless we want Morph. One su...
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Brand wheels « Lies Lies Lies
http://www.lieslieslies.net/brand-wheels
Thu, Jan 10 2013. The beginning of another pointless brand wheel. Currently, my company is urging us to create ‘brand wheels’ and if there is something else out there that wastes more time, I’d like to know about it. Middle-management bell-ends are responsible for this and the reason they ask teams to construct brand wheels is because they, absolutely, have nothing better to do. So everyone congregates in a meeting room. On the whiteboard a circle is drawn and the idea is to fill it with appropriate ...
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January « 2014 « Lies Lies Lies
http://www.lieslieslies.net/2014/01
Fri, Jan 3 2014. I am the new James Blunt. James Blunt rhymes with munt. James Blunt is riding the crest of a credibility wave after his activities on Twitter. The Poke website has underscored this with its 30 Reasons Why James Blunt Won at Twitter in 2013. So, in a bid to head off lieslieslies.net critics at the pass, here is a nine-point list of my pre-prepared witty ripostes that will surely deter those who seek to bully me and undermine my efforts as a highly respected writer ‘an that. 8 ‘Stick...
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November « 2011 « Lies Lies Lies
http://www.lieslieslies.net/2011/11
Wed, Nov 23 2011. A real Funsize Mars bar wil be two feet long. Rocket has been kidnapped by Chelsea types, who’ll simply not accept it’s merely a bunch of glorified dock leaves fit only for rabbits. The Chelsea tossers will, however, pay through the nose for it, which I suppose represents some sort of justice. And who thought of putting rocket on pizza? That’s like putting French dressing on chips.And what’s all this peppery business about? 8216;Soft scoop’ ice cream. Deal or No Deal. Runny pâté. Th...
lieslieslies.net
List of Lies « Lies Lies Lies
http://www.lieslieslies.net//list-of-lies
I am the new James Blunt. Reading on the toilet. 8216;Dangerous’ mobile phone use. Because you’re worth it. Financial ‘experts’. Who said a kebab’s bad for you? Sudoku. Better than life itself. Ed Miliband – really? Your point being…? 8216;Estimated’ bills. Beetroot – the devil’s vegetable. Closer, Reveal, Star. The er… oh goodness. News of the World? Embarrassing ‘fat’ bodies. The ‘insert’ button. Useful? Restrooms, bathrooms…. BT ‘helpline’. UK ‘democracy’. Comic ‘relief’. The greatest goal ever? IPhon...
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Financial ‘experts’ « Lies Lies Lies
http://www.lieslieslies.net/financial-experts
Mon, Nov 7 2011. Financial ‘experts’. New York dimwits circa 1963. Today the financial markets are, apparently, going to make decisions based on whether they like, or don’t like, the idea that Greece has formed a coalition and then, once they have made up their minds about this cobbled-together band of nitwits, they’ll start either buying or selling. You have to understand: financial markets are populated by idiots called Seth or Toby who learned that if you speak loud enough and use the words ‘bonds’ or...
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Lance Armstrong « Lies Lies Lies
http://www.lieslieslies.net/lance-armstrong
Fri, Jan 18 2013. Armstrong - one of the greatest liars of all time. I’ve just had a phone call from Lance Armstrong’s agent and, apparently, he wants to sponsor this site. All I have to do is give a clean blood sample and he’ll pay me a load of money. Lance Armstrong is one of the greatest liars of all time, second to Jimmy Savile. Like Savile, he conned us big style and, like Savile, we all kind of knew. There’s a lot more to this and I suspect there will be many more revelations in the years to ...
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Chris Huhne « Lies Lies Lies
http://www.lieslieslies.net/chris-huhne
Wed, Feb 6 2013. Huhne: another bloke trying to cover his tracks. Having covered off the Lance Armstrong thing I think it well worth grappling with the other topic that has made the news recently and that’s the complete debacle that is Chris Huhne’s life. His tale must be an object lesson for us all. The headline on yesterday’s. Read ‘The man who ran out of lies’ and as much as I find the. A somewhat detestable newspaper, it sums up the story very well. In Huhne’s case the decision to pass on the speedin...
