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Wednesday, October 10, 2012. My daughter believes that our house is haunted. By a guy wearing purple pants with a mean face. Apparently, he stands by the bathroom door on the landing upstairs. When I asked her how she got downstairs to tell me about it (because he would have been directly blocking the stairs) she said "He fades.". And now I don't know what to do about this. It's not like I can go "Ohmygod! I know, right? I have no idea what the hell to tell this child. And "High fevers are bad! Awwww s-h...

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Watch It Byrne | watchitbyrne.blogspot.com Reviews

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012. My daughter believes that our house is haunted. By a guy wearing purple pants with a mean face. Apparently, he stands by the bathroom door on the landing upstairs. When I asked her how she got downstairs to tell me about it (because he would have been directly blocking the stairs) she said He fades.. And now I don't know what to do about this. It's not like I can go Ohmygod! I know, right? I have no idea what the hell to tell this child. And High fevers are bad! Awwww s-h...

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Watch It Byrne | watchitbyrne.blogspot.com Reviews

https://watchitbyrne.blogspot.com

Wednesday, October 10, 2012. My daughter believes that our house is haunted. By a guy wearing purple pants with a mean face. Apparently, he stands by the bathroom door on the landing upstairs. When I asked her how she got downstairs to tell me about it (because he would have been directly blocking the stairs) she said "He fades.". And now I don't know what to do about this. It's not like I can go "Ohmygod! I know, right? I have no idea what the hell to tell this child. And "High fevers are bad! Awwww s-h...

INTERNAL PAGES

watchitbyrne.blogspot.com

1

Watch It Byrne: Flash me those pearly whites

http://watchitbyrne.blogspot.com/2011/03/flash-me-those-pearly-whites.html

Monday, March 14, 2011. Flash me those pearly whites. And then you go to the dentist and they tell you that a big bunch of that pretty white coating is just gone. And it's never coming back. You would think that teeth would be made of something harder and more durable. Like titanium. Or diamonds. For god's sake I have jewelry that is stronger than my teeth.and it doesn't even have a job. Make sure I can't feel it! For there to be orthodontists. His teeth are too big for his head. What the hell, Teeth?

2

Watch It Byrne: June 2010

http://watchitbyrne.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html

Wednesday, June 2, 2010. This one goes out to the ones I've loved. If you love something let it go. We have all heard these words of wisdom before, usually when we are in the throes of heartbreak- at the exact moment when those words mean absolutely nothing to us. But here is the thing. do we ever really let go of the people who were important to us? But can we love someone enough to let them come back? Posted by Sharon Byrne. Tuesday, June 1, 2010. Have your credit card ready. Debbie Meyer Green Bags?

3

Watch It Byrne: October 2010

http://watchitbyrne.blogspot.com/2010_10_01_archive.html

Tuesday, October 26, 2010. Worst Job-Seeker. Ever. Do you have a high school diploma? Do you want to be trained not to kill people? I definitely would like to not kill people and I for sure have a high school diploma. In fact, that is the only diploma I have because that was the last time people weren't all like "Eh, we don't care if you come to class or not." (Turns out they care enough to do things like "not accept late work" or "fail you." They are all like. You are an adult now.". And you are all like.

4

Watch It Byrne: Sometimes typos are the answer

http://watchitbyrne.blogspot.com/2012/07/sometimes-typos-are-answer.html

Tuesday, July 24, 2012. Sometimes typos are the answer. I just sent an email, to a woman I have never met, with the subject line "Parent Rep Shits". Awwww s-h-i-R-t-s dammit. SHIRTS. And yep.this is how I am coming back from a bajillion month disappearance. Talking about typos. I like you guys. And this is what happened. But after that post I got all stern with myself and was all "You need to start taking care of yourself. You should go to the DOCTOR! So I made an appointment with a gynecologist. Of ...

5

Watch It Byrne: May 2010

http://watchitbyrne.blogspot.com/2010_05_01_archive.html

Wednesday, May 26, 2010. Sometimes it takes someone else's eyes to see clearly. I am not pretty. Don't go to that place in your mind where you say "Aww. yes you are." I am not fishing for compliments here. The truth is that I am never gonna be a model. And yes, at the age of thirty-five I may or may not have. Come to this conclusion. Though there was a time in my life when this was a "dream" of mine. Ummm yeah. Sweet perm, right? I am a Nerd, yes. But model-pretty? Kind of way.). And it hasn't been until...

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livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: October 2013

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2013_10_01_archive.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Tuesday, October 22, 2013. When Forgetting to Eat is Just That. I glanced at the oven clock: 11:37 am. Only eight minutes until pickup. It's time to GO-OOOO! I shouted upstairs. The pair were heading to the swim team's hour-long swim-a-thon. One set of footsteps rumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. Olivia tossed her swim bag down on the floor and turned back around the corner to grab her fleece from the hooks in the hallway. She didn't eat any...

livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: The Gray is Always Grayer

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-gray-is-always-grayer.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Monday, November 3, 2014. The Gray is Always Grayer. I was 28 the first time I put chemicals on my virgin hair. My dark brown mop was graying and I wanted to ease the transition to salt and pepper. Hardly a poorly thought out lapse in judgment, I went to a professional, asked for her guidance, gave it a couple-month’s thought, and made the appointment. There’s also the fact that I truly hate the process of coloring my hair. The kindly folks a...So I re...

livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: My Mean Girls Will Never Be Mother Teresas

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2014/08/i-couldnt-make-mean-girl-mother-theresa.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Tuesday, August 26, 2014. My Mean Girls Will Never Be Mother Teresas. Shame and anxiety are my brain's Mean Girls: they make me feel bad and for a long time, I was scared to talk about them. Do I have to feel ashamed or anxious about? Well, in the past year, it's come to my attention that practicing gratitude when I'm feeling bad is a lousy coping mechanism, not to mention it's insulting to those who I have determined "have it worse" than I do. Since I...

livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: January 2014

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2014_01_01_archive.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Saturday, January 18, 2014. I stood facing the stove, my back to Olivia. My rear-view vision told me our nine-year-old was slumped halfway down the kitchen table bench, not at all attempting her least favorite homework: spelling. I pictured pursed lips, puffed cheeks and a salty demeanor worth at least a pallet of Morton's. Breathe deeeeep, Jen. Breeeeeeeeathe deeeeeeeeeep. Instead, I puffed shallow, frustrated. You have to eat dinner and. I was always...

livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: Pushups for Wedding Jitters

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2014/10/pushups-for-wedding-jitters.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Monday, October 13, 2014. Pushups for Wedding Jitters. Thank goodness Santa comes under the cover of darkness. Imagine if the jolly old elf came midday, instead. There would be no nestling of children. No visions of sugar plums a-waltzing. No good night. Creatures would ceaselessly, mercilessly stir, stir, stir. Shannon and her step-mother were quick to console Anna. "You're fine, honey! But Anna was already overwhelmed by my voice and my glare. Sh...

livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: October 2014

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2014_10_01_archive.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Monday, October 13, 2014. Pushups for Wedding Jitters. Thank goodness Santa comes under the cover of darkness. Imagine if the jolly old elf came midday, instead. There would be no nestling of children. No visions of sugar plums a-waltzing. No good night. Creatures would ceaselessly, mercilessly stir, stir, stir. Shannon and her step-mother were quick to console Anna. "You're fine, honey! But Anna was already overwhelmed by my voice and my glare. Sh...

livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: April 2014

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2014_04_01_archive.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Tuesday, April 8, 2014. Our girls have a favorite knock-knock joke. Go ahead and read the punchline twice if you have to. Then faster. Now again. Furrow your brow if it helps. Still struggling? Ask your resident human under the age of 10. Guaranteed she'll giggle. A rather professional "business" is the clubhouse leader. The runner up? In the meantime, I'll do my best to curb it. I certainly won't engage in it. And occasionally, I'll chuckle wi...Http:...

livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: August 2014

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2014_08_01_archive.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Tuesday, August 26, 2014. My Mean Girls Will Never Be Mother Teresas. Shame and anxiety are my brain's Mean Girls: they make me feel bad and for a long time, I was scared to talk about them. Do I have to feel ashamed or anxious about? Well, in the past year, it's come to my attention that practicing gratitude when I'm feeling bad is a lousy coping mechanism, not to mention it's insulting to those who I have determined "have it worse" than I do. Since I...

livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: February 2014

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2014_02_01_archive.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Tuesday, February 25, 2014. Letting It Go When the Time is Right. All I could see was the top of our seven-year-old's head. Face buried on the kitchen table at dinner, Anna didn't want Tony and I too see what we already knew was happening underneath. Crying. Lots of it. Only minutes before, we enjoyed a rare moment of civil banter at the dinner table that didn't involve a poop story, a tired knock-knock joke or another play-by-play of a Jessie. Well, t...

livewriterepeat.blogspot.com

Live. Write. Repeat.: December 2014

http://livewriterepeat.blogspot.com/2014_12_01_archive.html

Live Write. Repeat. My attempt to write what I know. Wednesday, December 3, 2014. Wholesome Language, Foul Intentions. I don’t swear out loud at my three daughters. It’s rude, it’s unnecessary and I’m pretty sure that they’d dish it right back to me, eventually. To be clear, our three daughters are good kids. They behave at school. They’re kind to each other. But their lack of knowledge and awareness of basic hygiene, self-maintenance and the world they live in every freakin’. 6 Urine in the bowl with a ...

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watchitbyrne.blogspot.com

Watch It Byrne

Wednesday, October 10, 2012. My daughter believes that our house is haunted. By a guy wearing purple pants with a mean face. Apparently, he stands by the bathroom door on the landing upstairs. When I asked her how she got downstairs to tell me about it (because he would have been directly blocking the stairs) she said "He fades.". And now I don't know what to do about this. It's not like I can go "Ohmygod! I know, right? I have no idea what the hell to tell this child. And "High fevers are bad! Awwww s-h...

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