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The Zombie Dating Guide: Meet, don't eat
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Meet, don't eat. What interests did you hold while still having a pulse? Did you enjoy a good book? Were you a whiz at sports? A sporting goods store may hold some appeal as the opposite sex will invariably show up there for new shoes or stretchy bands to stave off snapping a tendon while running. Hanging out in the bat or gun section should be avoided as they could get the wrong idea and have too easy an access to your demise. Self-defense for the Undead. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Meet, don't eat.
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The Zombie Dating Guide: Cha Cha Cha Changes: Personality quiz for zombie ladies
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Cha Cha Cha Changes: Personality quiz for zombie ladies. Think you are the same loveable creature you were when you still have air in your lungs? Enjoy the freedom of taking down a large human male with your superior strength then biting into his femur with a nice crunch. Nothing like the taste of human in the morning to get your day started. Many, many days started. Was life a never ending party for you? Filled with booze, drugs and questionable amounts of men? Shy and a bit on the awkward side before t...
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The Zombie Dating Guide: Coffeehouse of the Damned
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Coffeehouse of the Damned. Okay, zombie hipsters. You asked for it. Coffeehouse of the Damned is now stuck to ZDG like that time you walked in on your grandparents doing bad things with the denture glue. Just a little zombie song. Though they’re really hard to train. They like to sing falsetto. While munching on your brain. Your eyes pop out their nostrils. And ears come out their cheeks. And all the while your birthday cake. Will fester there for weeks. But fear not, my Undead friend. And gain themselve...
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The Zombie Dating Guide: Hot or Rot Quiz
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Hot or Rot Quiz. When spying a delicious looking undead male across a room do you:. A: Shake your bad thing to get his attention. Even if it isn't attached to you. B: Ask your friend to go into fake labor to get his attention, then ask if he is a doctor? C: Give him the eye. Literally. You throw it across the room in a vain attempt to whack him in the head with it. What is your favorite pick up line? A: Have you been dating out of your gene pool long? B: Not all of this is rigor mortis, baby. A: Kiera Kn...
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The Zombie Dating Guide: Speed Dating for Zombies
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Speed Dating for Zombies. Speed and zombies may first seem like a misnomer but the two are not mutually exclusive. Speed dating can be fun, exciting and fairly lucrative to the clever living challenged individual. With options limited to your dating pool, Speed dating is also a last resort for zombie love before the lights go out and you are beheaded by an angry mob. How to get ready for the eight-minute date:. Practice your laugh. Guttural groans are only appropriate in the bedroom or a late night d...
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The Zombie Dating Guide: Zombie Valentine's Day Cards
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Zombie Valentine's Day Cards. Share the love without getting all sticky. Click/download the graphic to send to your honey with extra hugs and kisses from Undead Fred. Don't worry, that nasty cold sore will clear up any day now. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Well now you did it. The chick that brought you Undead Fred has released the Zombie Tarot with Quirk Books. Yes. The people that brought you Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. Get down. Get funky. Undead Fred's Velvety Goodness. Zombie Valentine's Day Cards.
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The Zombie Dating Guide: Wintertime is FUN time for Hell’s Playthings! Plus a selection of dating tips and festive zombie gifts.
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Wintertime is FUN time for Hell’s Playthings! Plus a selection of dating tips and festive zombie gifts. As snow gently piles up on your rotting carcass, take the opportunity to be a kid again – or eat a kid again – in the wonderland of ice and frost. Build a snow Zombie using a real head and frighten neighborhood children or make snowballs around sharp rocks to make taking out the kids even easier since the little bastards can run fast and this will drop them to the ground. A selection of sassy ornaments.
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The Zombie Dating Guide: Personality quiz for zombie studs -- or what kind of RY#RW can I be today?
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Personality quiz for zombie studs - or what kind of RY#RW can I be today? Knowing your strengths as a Zombie can help cut through the clutter in finding the perfect mate. Using this handy guide, find out what your personality has to do with whom you end up with on that rocky road to forever! Men or very butch women:. Find yourself lusting after the ball instead of the brains? You may have found it difficult to get your feelings across before you took the dirt nap. As the Walking Dead it gets a bit ea...
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The Zombie Dating Guide: Zombie Love
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Zombie Lovin': How to tell if it's Rigor Mortis or something more festive. Within these challenges, there is the ultimate pay-off of a life filled with happiness or at least less madness as your brains turns to grape jelly, as you stumble through the nights together. How then can you keep the fire alive when constantly faced with destruction and dismemberment? Focus on the “now.”. Make each moment special:. Remember the first time you saw them across the Feeding Frenzy? Does your Zombie male want to take...
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The Zombie Dating Guide: Zombie Dating Column by Undead Fred
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Zombie Dating Column by Undead Fred. Dear Undead Fred,. When telling someone you want to keep a piece of them close to your for during those times apart. is it better to take their ear or a different body part? Signed – I’m watching you from outside your window and don’t you look pretty? Love and kisses, Undead Fred. Dear Undead Fred,. My girlfriend is on the fragrant side of decomposition now, how do I tell her she needs to freshen up without her getting all “Zombie rage” on me? Dear Undead Fred,. IR...
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