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BASED ON REALITY

A Skewed Perspective of Joe. Friday, June 26, 2009. Joe Figures Out What To Do (As Soon As He's Done Jerking Off): THE PLAY". LIGHTS UP on a couch, a TV, a Rat, 32 empty bags of chips, Joe. Dirty q-tips scattered across the floor, and Satan. Joe and Satan sit on opposite sides of the couch.). Satan looks at Joe.). 160;Are you moaning from the q-tip? Or from the other thing you're doing? 160;Be careful or you're gonna poke out your ear drum. Leave me, my q-tips, and my hand on my ***** alone. Joe digs aro...

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BASED ON REALITY | joegiordano.blogspot.com Reviews
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A Skewed Perspective of Joe. Friday, June 26, 2009. Joe Figures Out What To Do (As Soon As He's Done Jerking Off): THE PLAY. LIGHTS UP on a couch, a TV, a Rat, 32 empty bags of chips, Joe. Dirty q-tips scattered across the floor, and Satan. Joe and Satan sit on opposite sides of the couch.). Satan looks at Joe.). 160;Are you moaning from the q-tip? Or from the other thing you're doing? 160;Be careful or you're gonna poke out your ear drum. Leave me, my q-tips, and my hand on my ***** alone. Joe digs aro...
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BASED ON REALITY | joegiordano.blogspot.com Reviews

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A Skewed Perspective of Joe. Friday, June 26, 2009. Joe Figures Out What To Do (As Soon As He's Done Jerking Off): THE PLAY". LIGHTS UP on a couch, a TV, a Rat, 32 empty bags of chips, Joe. Dirty q-tips scattered across the floor, and Satan. Joe and Satan sit on opposite sides of the couch.). Satan looks at Joe.). 160;Are you moaning from the q-tip? Or from the other thing you're doing? 160;Be careful or you're gonna poke out your ear drum. Leave me, my q-tips, and my hand on my ***** alone. Joe digs aro...

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1

BASED ON REALITY: March 2009

http://www.joegiordano.blogspot.com/2009_03_01_archive.html

A Skewed Perspective of Joe. Sunday, March 1, 2009. The Origin of Cheese". It is my opinion that my loving the movie Titanic. Does not make me a dick. Similarly, I am of the belief that my loving the band The Counting Crows. Also does not make me a dick. On an alternate note, I do believe that you hating Titanic. And The Counting Crows. Probably means that you are. It’s okay. There are plenty of dicks in the world. You are not alone. To freeze my own heart and cease to feel any remorse for the selfishnes...

2

BASED ON REALITY: "The Origin of Cheese"

http://www.joegiordano.blogspot.com/2009/03/origin-of-cheese-it-is-my-opinion-that.html

A Skewed Perspective of Joe. Sunday, March 1, 2009. The Origin of Cheese". It is my opinion that my loving the movie Titanic. Does not make me a dick. Similarly, I am of the belief that my loving the band The Counting Crows. Also does not make me a dick. On an alternate note, I do believe that you hating Titanic. And The Counting Crows. Probably means that you are. It’s okay. There are plenty of dicks in the world. You are not alone. To freeze my own heart and cease to feel any remorse for the selfishnes...

3

BASED ON REALITY: "Apples, Boogers, Cannibals, and Coffee"

http://www.joegiordano.blogspot.com/2009/02/apples-boogers-cannibals-and-coffee.html

A Skewed Perspective of Joe. Saturday, February 7, 2009. Apples, Boogers, Cannibals, and Coffee". So here we are! That first official posting! It's the kind of conversation that my friends, family members, and I enjoy having; funny, crude, and utterly stupid. I have just switched my major from Engineering to Theater. ( Ask me how THAT'S  worked out. My grandma's birthday dinner.  An Italian restaurant. My grandma, and others, are at one end of the table, while The Idiots are at the other end. When it lan...

4

BASED ON REALITY: June 2009

http://www.joegiordano.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html

A Skewed Perspective of Joe. Friday, June 26, 2009. Joe Figures Out What To Do (As Soon As He's Done Jerking Off): THE PLAY". LIGHTS UP on a couch, a TV, a Rat, 32 empty bags of chips, Joe. Dirty q-tips scattered across the floor, and Satan. Joe and Satan sit on opposite sides of the couch.). Satan looks at Joe.). 160;Are you moaning from the q-tip? Or from the other thing you're doing? 160;Be careful or you're gonna poke out your ear drum. Leave me, my q-tips, and my hand on my penis alone. Joe digs aro...

5

BASED ON REALITY: A Introductory Letter to The World

http://www.joegiordano.blogspot.com/2009/01/letter-to-world.html

A Skewed Perspective of Joe. Wednesday, January 28, 2009. A Introductory Letter to The World. Do you know who I am? Do you know what I look like? What I smell like? Do you know what has made me into the moody man-wad that I've become? I didn’t think so. You know none of the answers to the above questions. What a fucking shame. Well, fear not, World! I will change that sad little factoid through the future musings of this blog! I will correct the calamity that is you not knowing anything about me! Holy pa...

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: "An Attempt at Your Love"

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2007/10/attempt-at-your-love.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. An Attempt at Your Love". This is a moving poem. It reeks of emotion. Go ahead, take a whiff. Can you smell it? Of course you can. Well, I’m glad you like it so far. It’s for you. Let’s move on to the next part. Let’s get to my thoughts. Here’s one I just thought! Did you like that thought I just thought just now? I know, it was deep. It was something I MEAN! It’s a truth! Of course you can!

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: "JIM'S END"

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2007/01/jims-end.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. Jim wakes up with a massive headache and cup of spit lying against his ear. It was not a good night. Not at all. Five minutes earlier…. The night before…. But barely is enough. Thus, despite the likelihood that his body would continue to function for what could add up to several decades, his life was over. It should have bothered him. FACTOIDS TO CONSIDER WHILE PONDERING PART TWO:. Jim has spe...

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: "Me and My Butt"

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2007/11/me-and-my-butt.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. Me and My Butt". My butt’s been talking to me lately. It’s totally sick of my ass. 8220;So am I,”. I say to my butt. 8220;So am I.”. It’s nice to know. Me and my butt. Have something in common. Posted by Joe Giordano. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). My ego would like to thank you for coming to this site. My email address would like you to know its name. MY OTHER, like, BLOG:. Me and My Butt.

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: the mashing of words

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2008/04/mashing-of-words.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. The mashing of words. They’ve stopped working. No one reads them. They fill no void. They’re a cute miniature white bunny rabbit with red eyes. Trying to get where it needs to get. To say what it needs to say. But the only sound the white bunny makes. A grinding of teeth. As the treads of a semi. Mash its face into asphalt. Posted by Joe Giordano. I think that was my sister driving that semi.

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: "Examples of The Way Things Go"

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2009/04/examples-of-way-things-go.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. Examples of The Way Things Go". IT’LL ALL WORK OUT IN THE END. Jimmy likes to go to graveyards. They give him hope. Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall. And then you’re born. DEEP IN THE HUNDRED ACRE WOOD. Eeyore got tired of looking for his tail. So, he sat down,. Smoked a doob,. And humped a rock. Please stop doing that. It’s fucking annoying. They stood toe-to-toe next to the lockers. I Open the ...

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: "The Monster That Looked Like a Booger" (CHAPTERS 1-4)

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2010/01/chapters-1-4_23.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. The Monster That Looked Like a Booger" (CHAPTERS 1-4). 8220;THE MONSTER”. The monster that looked like a booger was sitting in a closet, balancing on the edge of a box full of toys, looking very much like a booger. It was after midnight and the room was dark, except for one dim lamp that shined its light on the face of a kid picking his nose in his sleep. The kid was dreaming of a farm. It jus...

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: "Things Are Looking Up"

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2007/11/things-are-looking-up.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. Things Are Looking Up". She tells me things are looking up because I’m pissed off at the day I’ve been having, and, to me, things are looking down. Way fuckin’ down. But she’s a good person and tries to encourage me, anyway. It drives me fuckin’ nuts. And it doesn’t change the fact that it was a shitty-ass day today. It started that way, and then it never stopped. Here’s how it started. 8220;N...

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: “The Last Days of a Piece of Lint”

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2009/03/last-days-of-piece-of-lint.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. 8220;The Last Days of a Piece of Lint”. Day after day, the piece of lint sat there. The piece of lint sat there, hour upon hour, week upon week, knowing the moment would come when it would be wiped away with a rag and thrown into the trash with all of the world’s other pieces of shit. Posted by Joe Giordano. You were procrastinating about dusting your place, weren't you? MY OTHER, like, BLOG:.

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: "CANDY"

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2007/02/candy.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. This morning was not a good morning. It never is when you realize exactly how much everything fucking sucks. I thought I knew how much everything sucks, I thought I'd already had that moment of realization, that's what I thought, but I was wrong. It sucks so much more than I ever thought it did. Posted by Joe Giordano. October 7, 2007 at 9:57 AM. I love the world. October 7, 2007 at 10:32 AM.

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YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM: Thanks a Lot

http://preparetoscream.blogspot.com/2008/08/jason-asks-me-question.html

YOU HAVE ENTERED HEAVEN, PREPARE TO SCREAM. SHORT STORIES, POEMS, PLAYS, and EXCERPTS OF NOVELS by Joe Giordano. Jason asks me a question. 8220;How was your fuckin’ holiday? I’m in art class on Monday morning, the only class worth a crap in this crap of a high school. I look at him from the edge of my right eye, go back to what I’m working on. I look at the hundreds of tiny cuts on my fingertips, a Thanksgiving highlight reel. My silence is my answer. I pull a shard out from under my fingernail. I lo...

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BASED ON REALITY

A Skewed Perspective of Joe. Friday, June 26, 2009. Joe Figures Out What To Do (As Soon As He's Done Jerking Off): THE PLAY". LIGHTS UP on a couch, a TV, a Rat, 32 empty bags of chips, Joe. Dirty q-tips scattered across the floor, and Satan. Joe and Satan sit on opposite sides of the couch.). Satan looks at Joe.). 160;Are you moaning from the q-tip? Or from the other thing you're doing? 160;Be careful or you're gonna poke out your ear drum. Leave me, my q-tips, and my hand on my penis alone. Joe digs aro...

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