jordynnolz.com

jordynnolz.com

What Fresh Hell…? Frumpy Guy For a Day. November 8, 2011. Target for a Day. While a story might not always completely revolve around one of these, there’s usually a good chance of one of them coming up. John cleverly ducks into another room and shapeshifts his face to look like the governor’s. A few minutes later he pops out and says that oh, uh, you didn’t see it, but I TOTALLY brought my make up kit long and now I look EXACTLY like the governor. John says he’ll pretend to the governor for the nex...

dcau.jordynnolz.com

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What Fresh Hell…? May 30, 2010. Black holes are pretty fucked up and weird. I decided that before doing this write up, I would read a little bit about black holes (see there’s a black hole in this episode.) The first thing I clicked on was an article about how black holes work, and the first line said “You may have heard someone say,”My desk has become a black hole! Light can’t escape from it? Then again, the same article had this image with it:. He grabs one of the wings of the ships which rips off and ...

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Let’s Go to the Citadel. What Fresh Hell…? September 12, 2012. We head to Sur’Kesh to look into this whole krogan females and genophage cure and salarians thing. I’m really excited because I am totally gonna meet a female krogan finally. I bring along Garrus and Javik, and Wrex is a little “the fuck is that? THE ROBOT WHO IS ALSO A SPACESHIP WHO ALSO THINKS SHE’S A GODDAMN COMEDIAN! This is a great idea. Down in the lab, I find Mordin! IS THIS THE KROGAN FEMALE! Oh my god she…hmm, she’s got a...Wrex is i...

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Waistline in the Wasteland. What Fresh Hell…? December 20, 2011. I woke up still determined to get that booze from the X-12 building, so I needed to get that force field bustin’ upgrade for my sonic gun thing first. I groggily checked my Pimp Boy to see where it was. Back in the same goddamn building I had been in earlier? I angrily get the upgrade and have to kill a bunch of other shit and then finally get back to the X-12 building. The VERY second he died. All of a sudden. OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE. In a ...

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Uncategorized | jordynnolz.com

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What Fresh Hell…? Dr Polaris’s Outfit: A Short Play. May 18, 2013. SCENE: Dr. Polaris has taken some people hostage, because why not. Dr. Polaris: BOW DOWN BEFORE DR. POLARIS! Hostage: Dr. Polaris? Do you have like, ice powers or something? I don’t really get it. Dr. Polaris: No I have magnet … Continue reading →. A BIRTHDAY IS A DOODLY DOO. June 8, 2012. I Am Drunk and Watching Wild Wild West. January 12, 2012. 2 Become 1 (Not About Spice Girls). November 10, 2011. CAN YOU SHIP IT? October 12, 2011.

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Ukulele | jordynnolz.com

http://jordynnolz.com/tag/ukulele

What Fresh Hell…? November 17, 2011. It’s JAMES VEGA DAY. Other Words I Write. Wasted in the Wasteland. J’onzzin’ for Some J’onn. Proudly powered by WordPress.

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Shutter Shades | jordynnolz.com

http://jordynnolz.com/tag/shutter-shades

What Fresh Hell…? Tag Archives: Shutter Shades. November 17, 2011. It’s JAMES VEGA DAY. Other Words I Write. Wasted in the Wasteland. J’onzzin’ for Some J’onn. Proudly powered by WordPress.

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I AM THE NIGHT | jordynnolz.com

http://jordynnolz.com/2011/10/i-am-the-night

What Fresh Hell…? Bat-Porn ON THE INTERNET. 2 Become 1 (Not About Spice Girls) →. I AM THE NIGHT. October 24, 2011. To be Batman. They want to be the ultimate badass, the ultimate detective. They want to have a cape and swoop around town and beat up 15 guys at a time no matter what weapons they might have. They want a cool car and a cool plane, and cool equipment that can do anything. They think being Batman would be awesome. As much I love Batman, I do not agree. I’M BATMAN WHY WOULD I USE THE DOOR.

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Other | jordynnolz.com

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What Fresh Hell…? November 17, 2011. It’s JAMES VEGA DAY. Other Words I Write. Wasted in the Wasteland. J’onzzin’ for Some J’onn. Proudly powered by WordPress.

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I Banged Your Mothership | jordynnolz.com

http://wastedinthewasteland.jordynnolz.com/2011/07/i-banged-your-mothership

Waistline in the Wasteland. What Fresh Hell…? Can My Tribal Name Be Angry Drunk? I Banged Your Mothership. July 22, 2011. We continue our journey through parts of the ship, with me haphazardly doing whatever and hoping that eventually a door will look like the correct one to go through. This method has yet to fail me, so I will stick with it forever. Good for him, wherever he was! I’m the best! For Fucking. Real? Sally says to push the button to fire the death ray at it. But umm…I thought I&#82...I went ...

You Oughta Prothean | jordynnolz.com

http://www.shepardinterrupted.jordynnolz.com/2012/05/you-oughta-prothean

Let’s Go to the Citadel. What Fresh Hell…? AM I TRAPPED ON THE CITADEL. You Don’t Even Medal at the Spectre Olympics →. May 25, 2012. Back on the Normandy, I rush to engineering to find that Ken and Gabby are ALREADY back on my ship. I check how they’re doing and make sure they’re not buggin’ Engineer Adams too much with their trademark hi-jinkery. They tell me that those cufflinks or whatever I got for them before are still on the Normandy and still working great! Yeah, calm it down for a second. At any...

May | 2012 | jordynnolz.com

http://www.shepardinterrupted.jordynnolz.com/2012/05

Let’s Go to the Citadel. What Fresh Hell…? Monthly Archives: May 2012. You Don’t Even Medal at the Spectre Olympics. May 30, 2012. I head back up to the CIC and check my email. Miranda wants to meet on the Citadel and Kaidan wants me to stop by again. Jeesh dude, I need my space. Ain’t no ring on this finger and it wouldn’t … Continue reading →. May 25, 2012. AM I TRAPPED ON THE CITADEL. May 23, 2012. Dock Jams (Y’all Ready For This? May 21, 2012. May 18, 2012. May 16, 2012. I prance excitedly down the h...

Let’s Go to the Citadel | jordynnolz.com

http://www.shepardinterrupted.jordynnolz.com/lets-go-to-the-citadel

Let’s Go to the Citadel. What Fresh Hell…? Let’s Go to the Citadel. This is a spoof song that I felt deserved its own page:. Let’s go to the Citadel everybody! Let’s go to the Citadel, you won’t be sorry. Put on your omni-tools. And your cool new exo-suit. Having fun on the Citadel is what it’s all about. I haven’t done my missions yet. And you know how the Council gets. I don’t care ’cause all my squad is gonna be there. Everybody come and play. Throw all your dead fish away. Met him on a mission. Your ...

Thank You Very Much Sir, Mr. Robot-Tor | jordynnolz.com

http://jonzzinforsomejonn.jordynnolz.com/2011/08/thank-you-very-much-sir-mr-robot-tor

What Fresh Hell…? Johnnie It’s Hottah Undah Dah Watah. Only YOU Can Perform Stunts Around Forest Fires. →. Thank You Very Much Sir, Mr. Robot-Tor. August 19, 2011. The Criminal From Outer Space. One day as John is leaving the police station, he sees a hub-bub going on around the corner. What’s all the fuss about? Well it’s a goddamn fire, of course. A freakin’ COVERED WAGON is on fire. Why the f…where did a covered wagon come from? Why do we even have that card? Back on Earth, John is clutching is diary,.

Tequila Makes Her GO FUCKING NUTSO | jordynnolz.com

http://wastedinthewasteland.jordynnolz.com/2011/08/tequila-makes-her-go-fucking-nutso

Waistline in the Wasteland. What Fresh Hell…? Can My Tribal Name Be Angry Drunk? They Should Find Someone Else If They Want Stuff Done FAST. →. Tequila Makes Her GO FUCKING NUTSO. August 16, 2011. Full of booze and feeling a little better, I start again towards this camp that Follows whatever wants me to go to. We wander through a bunch of standing water that he informs me is full of bear traps. Really dude? Everyone just knows him because here is hanging out? Our first stop is a wrecked school bus to fi...

Burned On the Fourth Of July | jordynnolz.com

http://jonzzinforsomejonn.jordynnolz.com/2011/09/burned-on-the-fourth-of-july

What Fresh Hell…? Only YOU Can Perform Stunts Around Forest Fires. A Little Ditty About John and Diane →. Burned On the Fourth Of July. September 9, 2011. The Phantom Fire Alarms. With a title like that, I was all strapped in for this thing to involve anything from ghosts to people pretending to be ghosts to fire alarms that people pretending to be ghosts were pulling to scare people away from buildings they were trying to rob. The title however, was not actually that straight forward. They decide to tes...

Johnnie It’s Hottah Undah Dah Watah | jordynnolz.com

http://jonzzinforsomejonn.jordynnolz.com/2011/07/johnnie-its-hottah-undah-dah-watah

What Fresh Hell…? Them Jones, Them Jones, Them…John Jones. Thank You Very Much Sir, Mr. Robot-Tor →. Johnnie It’s Hottah Undah Dah Watah. July 31, 2011. DETECTIVE COMICS #242: The Thirty Fathom Sleuth. So often in these comics, I am really unclear as to what is going on. It was uh, it was the 50’s. It was a different time. Stuff didn’t have to make sense! JUST GO WITH IT! Like, you can only commandeer cars that are already on the street? The hijacker Jack Platter stole his “crime files” and t...He then s...