joleendoreen.com
Joleen Doreen: January 2014
http://www.joleendoreen.com/2014_01_01_archive.html
It's the Fucking Tits.™ (may contain strong language, strong women, and strong whiskey). A country girl's heart is filled with apple pie. Made with sugar and spice and everything nice. A hillbilly girl's heart holds a lot of booze. Teddy Bear while lobbing empties at birds). I can do this. I know I can. I just need to get over myself before I fall out the bottom. Jump on the wagon, and then push everyone else off so I have more room to haul my booze. Let me kick my feet up and tell ya'll a story. Youth t...
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Joleen Doreen: September 2013
http://www.joleendoreen.com/2013_09_01_archive.html
It's the Fucking Tits.™ (may contain strong language, strong women, and strong whiskey). Drinking in the morning is tricky business. If you're not careful you could end up standing in the kitchen at 3pm waiting for a mug of beer to answer your questions. And the 120 Minute IPA takes FOREVER to reply. Only a seasoned third-shifter can pull off a good pre-noon drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yada, yada, yada. Joke's on you, asshole, I have no morals. I used to have them. Bulk rate bad decisions at a bargain!
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Joleen Doreen: February 2014
http://www.joleendoreen.com/2014_02_01_archive.html
It's the Fucking Tits.™ (may contain strong language, strong women, and strong whiskey). It was pretty cold out the night my little brother kidney punched that old dude. There was definately ice on the puddle that night, so it was cold. Probably puts it somewhere in the months right before he died. December, maybe. January more likely. Is that a real year? The barstools were full, at any rate, which wasn't typical in December because of hunting season and it couldn't have been February, because Jake was ...
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Joleen Doreen: October 2013
http://www.joleendoreen.com/2013_10_01_archive.html
It's the Fucking Tits.™ (may contain strong language, strong women, and strong whiskey). We All Scream For Cauliflower. I ain't no damn smarter. Birthdays are a scam. Nope, no shoes. Can't fucking stand 'em. Footwear fussiness aside, my ire has also recently been aimed at ice cream. Yep, ice cream. Don't like it, don't need it, don't want it. Ima take a minute here, so you can quit sputtering like a dickweed and we can move on. Shoes and ice cream. Two of the biggest evils that I am faced with. Pfffftttt...
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Joleen Doreen: Gardening Tips
http://www.joleendoreen.com/2014/07/gardening-tips.html
It's the Fucking Tits.™ (may contain strong language, strong women, and strong whiskey). I've been 4'11" since the 7th grade. There was a brief period in the late 90's where I thought I was taller, but it turns out I was just fat. Not your normal post-pregnancy plump either, I'm talking about real fat. Winded-walking fat. And when you remember that I'm 4'11", it's not hard to see that fat jokes were my wheelhouse. Because I was as fat as the wheelhouse. I've lost some weight and obviously I'm all sorts o...
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Joleen Doreen: Poems, everybody! (Or, "I expect you to quote The Wall")
http://www.joleendoreen.com/2014/03/poems-everybody-or-i-obviously-expect.html
It's the Fucking Tits.™ (may contain strong language, strong women, and strong whiskey). Or, "I expect you to quote The Wall"). So they tell me I'm a poet. I freaking knew it. There was this dude from Nantucket, you see, and. Well, that's a story perhaps for another time. Right now I need to talk about the reason of rhyme. The laddie fancies herself a poet! I've greatly enjoyed returning to the writing community and my late-night version of poetry is finding not only a home, but also a peculiar fanbase.
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Joleen Doreen: March 2014
http://www.joleendoreen.com/2014_03_01_archive.html
It's the Fucking Tits.™ (may contain strong language, strong women, and strong whiskey). Or, "I expect you to quote The Wall"). So they tell me I'm a poet. I freaking knew it. There was this dude from Nantucket, you see, and. Well, that's a story perhaps for another time. Right now I need to talk about the reason of rhyme. The laddie fancies herself a poet! I've greatly enjoyed returning to the writing community and my late-night version of poetry is finding not only a home, but also a peculiar fanbase.
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Joleen Doreen: June 2014
http://www.joleendoreen.com/2014_06_01_archive.html
It's the Fucking Tits.™ (may contain strong language, strong women, and strong whiskey). Stranger things have happened. I've always enjoyed that turn of phrase. Like some convoluted justification that the nonsensical is norm. Not that THIS isn't strange, you see, just that things could be MORE strange. Don't worry about the absurdity of the situation, think about how preposterous the possibilities COULD be. Stranger things have happened. Or, stranger things are. Stranger things will happen? I was a young...
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Joleen Doreen: May 2014
http://www.joleendoreen.com/2014_05_01_archive.html
It's the Fucking Tits.™ (may contain strong language, strong women, and strong whiskey). Fake Relationships Are Hard. Me and Google got in a fight. I said some things. Google said some things. Chairs were thrown. My website was cast from the internet, abandoned by its host. In the end there was no winner, but I'm clearly a loser. I searched everywhere for help but where do you turn for information without Google? Hell, I can't even say. Note: even spellcheck doesn't know what Bing is.). Work out, we have...