funeralsfordinosaurs.com
Funerals for Dinosaurs: Get Up, Stand Up
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2014/05/get-up-stand-up.html
Monday, May 19, 2014. Get Up, Stand Up. One time this horrible person wrote me after I called her out for her bigotry regarding our "House Hunters" episode on Facebook. She told the show that she'd no longer be watching and they "knew why." Lesbians ruin everything, you guys. But she ignored the correction and, since I blocked her immediately after writing it, she resorted to writing my wife instead. A fact we only learned this morning when Katie found the April 4th message in her "other" folder. The fig...
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Funerals for Dinosaurs: Happy Mothers' Day!
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2014/05/happy-mothers-day.html
Saturday, May 10, 2014. In our house, that plural possessive means EVERYTHING). Even when I was younger I didn't think that I would end up being a mother. I didn't really relish the idea of getting pregnant, perhaps because even my child self knew that would involve a man in some way. I didn't picture my wedding to a man, didn't envision us having kids and a lovely suburban life, though I saw plenty of examples of that working quite well for others. I don't know if I could have ever given a thorough desc...
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Funerals for Dinosaurs: November 2012
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2012_11_01_archive.html
Sunday, November 11, 2012. In Which I Get Entirely Too Personal. And You Don't Read It Because It's Too Long. I've spent years thinking I'm a pretty damn good writer. Years of assuming that the only reason no one has paid me to be. Do you see that? How I turned that phrase there? Why don't I have a contract and an "Oprah's Book Club" insignia and a hilarious interview on Ellen. Let someone, or a number of someones, tell you the same thing over and over again, and you'll start to believe it. It's why I've...
funeralsfordinosaurs.com
Funerals for Dinosaurs: May 2014
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2014_05_01_archive.html
Monday, May 19, 2014. Get Up, Stand Up. One time this horrible person wrote me after I called her out for her bigotry regarding our "House Hunters" episode on Facebook. She told the show that she'd no longer be watching and they "knew why." Lesbians ruin everything, you guys. But she ignored the correction and, since I blocked her immediately after writing it, she resorted to writing my wife instead. A fact we only learned this morning when Katie found the April 4th message in her "other" folder. The fig...
funeralsfordinosaurs.com
Funerals for Dinosaurs: September 2013
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2013_09_01_archive.html
Friday, September 27, 2013. In my lovely wife's latest blog entry. She details the story of the art piece she created for our bathroom. It's currently my favorite piece in our house, though I think everything she (or we) creates is always my favorite until the next one. In that post, Katie noted that the outline of Iowa has a small heart drawn in the location of a little town called "Coon Rapids." And she pointed out that I would explain why that place is significant. So here we are. Told me (before it m...
funeralsfordinosaurs.com
Funerals for Dinosaurs: July 2014
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2014_07_01_archive.html
Wednesday, July 30, 2014. On Facebook today I said that I was going to start applying to jobs even if I'd never heard of the title of the position. And I meant it. The first title I didn't know was "Dimensional Metrologist." Here's the text of the listing:. Dimensional Metrologist - Full-time contract position in support of mechanical design product research and development at a large electronics manufacturer. And now for my cover letter:. My objective: To dimense all the metros. I received my B.S...
funeralsfordinosaurs.com
Funerals for Dinosaurs: October 2012
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2012_10_01_archive.html
Saturday, October 13, 2012. Right now you're in a hotel room in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, hopefully asleep, while your grandparents take care of you. I am not there. Neither is Momma. And we miss you like you will never understand. Three years ago, I didn't know you. I didn't know your momma either, although we went to second through fourth grades together and were apparently friends back then. But my memory loss is a story for another day. Today, it's all about you. And I say, "Yeah?
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Funerals for Dinosaurs: My Wife the Hero
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2015/06/my-wife-hero.html
Sunday, June 28, 2015. My Wife the Hero. Something happened tonight. It wasn't anything that big, or even something we'll necessarily remember in the months to come, but it happened and it caused my wife to have some feelings she should never have to have. But it didn't. And you all know where she is now - married to me, a woman, and finally feeling freedom after so many years of not even understanding how she was chained. As a result, she was punished. Friends left her. Long-time friends. Ev...But it be...
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Funerals for Dinosaurs: December 2012
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2012_12_01_archive.html
Tuesday, December 25, 2012. Happy Holidays to My Wife. All she ever really wants from me is a letter. A note. Something that shows that I've thought of her and taken the time to write it down. My other blog. That one I rarely update, sometimes meets that need. But I'm so bad at it that I can understand why she's still wishing for a little more. But what she wants is a letter. So she's getting one. Only instead of writing to her, I'm writing to all of you about. She is hilarious. She is ridiculously s...
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Funerals for Dinosaurs: That Month We Thought My Wife Might Have Breast Cancer
http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2013/01/that-month-we-thought-my-wife-might.html
Wednesday, January 16, 2013. That Month We Thought My Wife Might Have Breast Cancer. It started with a pretty severe pain in her right breast. It had been a mild pain before December 19, but it decided to kick up a notch that day. So she didn't work out with me, because the jumping around in a Jillian Michaels workout was going to be too much to handle. Yeah, but I feel like I can sort of feel the same thing in the other one.". Wait, where did it go? Nevermind. I lost it again.". For many people in this ...