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watchingoprah.blogspot.com

Watching Oprah

Friday, May 27, 2011. Reflecting on something as gargantuan as The Oprah Winfrey Show. Is not an easy task. I dont even know how to begin. Maybe Ill just start with the ending. A very good place to start. The finale aired yesterday, and I was there right at four oclock, and watched the whole thing, commercials and all. It was funny how many commercials were made specifically for the finale. Even Pixar cut a trailer for Cars. That catered to the Oprah. Audience (You get new Cars. You get new Cars. All I c...

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Watching Oprah | watchingoprah.blogspot.com Reviews
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Friday, May 27, 2011. Reflecting on something as gargantuan as The Oprah Winfrey Show. Is not an easy task. I dont even know how to begin. Maybe Ill just start with the ending. A very good place to start. The finale aired yesterday, and I was there right at four oclock, and watched the whole thing, commercials and all. It was funny how many commercials were made specifically for the finale. Even Pixar cut a trailer for Cars. That catered to the Oprah. Audience (You get new Cars. You get new Cars. All I c...
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1 for good
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Watching Oprah | watchingoprah.blogspot.com Reviews

https://watchingoprah.blogspot.com

Friday, May 27, 2011. Reflecting on something as gargantuan as The Oprah Winfrey Show. Is not an easy task. I dont even know how to begin. Maybe Ill just start with the ending. A very good place to start. The finale aired yesterday, and I was there right at four oclock, and watched the whole thing, commercials and all. It was funny how many commercials were made specifically for the finale. Even Pixar cut a trailer for Cars. That catered to the Oprah. Audience (You get new Cars. You get new Cars. All I c...

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1

Watching Oprah: February 2011

http://www.watchingoprah.blogspot.com/2011_02_01_archive.html

Friday, February 25, 2011. I swear I didn't plan it this way, but the giant "snowpocalypse" that was supposed to hit Portland this week caused the local NBC affiliate to cancel Oprah. On Wednesday and rerun it later that night. Which I didn't know until I sat down to watch on my DVR, and instead got to watch a lot of "snowverreaction" to what ended up being two (at the most) inches that melted by mid-morning Thursday. So, lucky me. Instead, I got the David Arquette train wreck. I bet Celine is sad. A...

2

Watching Oprah: March 2011

http://www.watchingoprah.blogspot.com/2011_03_01_archive.html

Monday, March 28, 2011. The End Is Nigh. It's been weeks since the last new episode of Oprah. And the new ones won't be back until April 7. That's a Thursday, oddly enough. I would like to say that I've been using the downtime to continue (and complete) the remaining three discs of the 20th Anniversary Collection. But that would be a lie. Instead, I've been using the time to work, work, work, to recover from being ill, and to do a piss-poor job of taking care of Katie while she ails. I know many of you a...

3

Watching Oprah: September 2010

http://www.watchingoprah.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html

Thursday, September 30, 2010. Teri Hatcher. Cybill Shepherd. Linda Evans. A town hall meeting. Minus the town. And the meeting. I mean, there was a meeting, but only between Oprah, Teri and Cybill. The audience (or the town, in my super awesome analogy) never got to make a sound. Except for this time at the end of the episode when Oprah did her classic, Wouldnt you agree, audience? And the audience was obligated to applaud. When youre a knockout; its quite another to come to that conclusion when you have...

4

Watching Oprah: April 2011

http://www.watchingoprah.blogspot.com/2011_04_01_archive.html

Tuesday, April 26, 2011. A week ago, I had to go to the doctor. The special lady doctor who deals exclusively in vaginas, if you catch my drift. Yeah. You know what Im saying. But this visit wasnt for my annual invasive swabbing. No, this time around I had something super awesome for the doctor. A doctor I had never seen before until that day, I might add. Go do an image search for Bartholin Gland cyst. Better yet, Ill do one for you. Just click here. This thing had grown exponentially in the previous fe...

5

Watching Oprah: Don't Call It A Comeback

http://www.watchingoprah.blogspot.com/2011/05/dont-call-it-comeback.html

Thursday, May 5, 2011. Don't Call It A Comeback. If a girl gives up on a blog, then watches ten episodes of Oprah. In two days in an attempt to catch up, and then decides to start writing again, and she's in a forest or something, does anyone read her? Only one way to find out. I guess the real question I should be asking myself is, "What is the thing that I can do to let my courage become an expression of my integrity? Oh, right. It will. In fifteen episodes, on May 25. Boring. Dude still makes a to...

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Funerals for Dinosaurs: Get Up, Stand Up

http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2014/05/get-up-stand-up.html

Monday, May 19, 2014. Get Up, Stand Up. One time this horrible person wrote me after I called her out for her bigotry regarding our "House Hunters" episode on Facebook. She told the show that she'd no longer be watching and they "knew why." Lesbians ruin everything, you guys. But she ignored the correction and, since I blocked her immediately after writing it, she resorted to writing my wife instead. A fact we only learned this morning when Katie found the April 4th message in her "other" folder. The fig...

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Funerals for Dinosaurs: Happy Mothers' Day!

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Saturday, May 10, 2014. In our house, that plural possessive means EVERYTHING). Even when I was younger I didn't think that I would end up being a mother. I didn't really relish the idea of getting pregnant, perhaps because even my child self knew that would involve a man in some way. I didn't picture my wedding to a man, didn't envision us having kids and a lovely suburban life, though I saw plenty of examples of that working quite well for others. I don't know if I could have ever given a thorough desc...

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Funerals for Dinosaurs: November 2012

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Sunday, November 11, 2012. In Which I Get Entirely Too Personal. And You Don't Read It Because It's Too Long. I've spent years thinking I'm a pretty damn good writer. Years of assuming that the only reason no one has paid me to be. Do you see that? How I turned that phrase there? Why don't I have a contract and an "Oprah's Book Club" insignia and a hilarious interview on Ellen. Let someone, or a number of someones, tell you the same thing over and over again, and you'll start to believe it. It's why I've...

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Funerals for Dinosaurs: May 2014

http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2014_05_01_archive.html

Monday, May 19, 2014. Get Up, Stand Up. One time this horrible person wrote me after I called her out for her bigotry regarding our "House Hunters" episode on Facebook. She told the show that she'd no longer be watching and they "knew why." Lesbians ruin everything, you guys. But she ignored the correction and, since I blocked her immediately after writing it, she resorted to writing my wife instead. A fact we only learned this morning when Katie found the April 4th message in her "other" folder. The fig...

funeralsfordinosaurs.com funeralsfordinosaurs.com

Funerals for Dinosaurs: September 2013

http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2013_09_01_archive.html

Friday, September 27, 2013. In my lovely wife's latest blog entry. She details the story of the art piece she created for our bathroom. It's currently my favorite piece in our house, though I think everything she (or we) creates is always my favorite until the next one. In that post, Katie noted that the outline of Iowa has a small heart drawn in the location of a little town called "Coon Rapids." And she pointed out that I would explain why that place is significant. So here we are. Told me (before it m...

funeralsfordinosaurs.com funeralsfordinosaurs.com

Funerals for Dinosaurs: July 2014

http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2014_07_01_archive.html

Wednesday, July 30, 2014. On Facebook today I said that I was going to start applying to jobs even if I'd never heard of the title of the position. And I meant it. The first title I didn't know was "Dimensional Metrologist." Here's the text of the listing:. Dimensional Metrologist - Full-time contract position in support of mechanical design product research and development at a large electronics manufacturer. And now for my cover letter:. My objective: To dimense all the metros. I received my B.S&#4...

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Funerals for Dinosaurs: October 2012

http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2012_10_01_archive.html

Saturday, October 13, 2012. Right now you're in a hotel room in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, hopefully asleep, while your grandparents take care of you. I am not there. Neither is Momma. And we miss you like you will never understand. Three years ago, I didn't know you. I didn't know your momma either, although we went to second through fourth grades together and were apparently friends back then. But my memory loss is a story for another day. Today, it's all about you. And I say, "Yeah?

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Funerals for Dinosaurs: My Wife the Hero

http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2015/06/my-wife-hero.html

Sunday, June 28, 2015. My Wife the Hero. Something happened tonight. It wasn't anything that big, or even something we'll necessarily remember in the months to come, but it happened and it caused my wife to have some feelings she should never have to have. But it didn't. And you all know where she is now - married to me, a woman, and finally feeling freedom after so many years of not even understanding how she was chained. As a result, she was punished. Friends left her. Long-time friends. Ev...But it be...

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Funerals for Dinosaurs: December 2012

http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2012_12_01_archive.html

Tuesday, December 25, 2012. Happy Holidays to My Wife. All she ever really wants from me is a letter. A note. Something that shows that I've thought of her and taken the time to write it down. My other blog. That one I rarely update, sometimes meets that need. But I'm so bad at it that I can understand why she's still wishing for a little more. But what she wants is a letter. So she's getting one. Only instead of writing to her, I'm writing to all of you about. She is hilarious. She is ridiculously s...

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Funerals for Dinosaurs: That Month We Thought My Wife Might Have Breast Cancer

http://www.funeralsfordinosaurs.com/2013/01/that-month-we-thought-my-wife-might.html

Wednesday, January 16, 2013. That Month We Thought My Wife Might Have Breast Cancer. It started with a pretty severe pain in her right breast. It had been a mild pain before December 19, but it decided to kick up a notch that day. So she didn't work out with me, because the jumping around in a Jillian Michaels workout was going to be too much to handle. Yeah, but I feel like I can sort of feel the same thing in the other one.". Wait, where did it go? Nevermind. I lost it again.". For many people in this ...

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Watching Oprah

Friday, May 27, 2011. Reflecting on something as gargantuan as The Oprah Winfrey Show. Is not an easy task. I dont even know how to begin. Maybe Ill just start with the ending. A very good place to start. The finale aired yesterday, and I was there right at four oclock, and watched the whole thing, commercials and all. It was funny how many commercials were made specifically for the finale. Even Pixar cut a trailer for Cars. That catered to the Oprah. Audience (You get new Cars. You get new Cars. All I c...

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