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Butter No Parsnips: Piss and Vinegar Tom
http://butternoparsnips.blogspot.com/2010/11/piss-and-vinegar-tom.html
Friday, November 26, 2010. Piss and Vinegar Tom. At MacGyver's family gatherings, there is a woman I avoid. She is MacGyver's dad's brother's wife's mother. This woman only sees me on Christmas Eve and the occasional Thanksgiving, she's not related to me, and I'm fairly sure she doesn't even know my name. However, she always demands to know when I'm going to make some babies. To amuse myself, while I avoid her I think of things I would like to say, but am too polite to say out loud. And I mentally reply:.
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Butter No Parsnips: May 2010
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Friday, May 28, 2010. Cats and Floors do not Mix. She's really a baby monster. Wednesday, May 26, 2010. Holy expletive, it's been so long since I blogged that I almost forgot my password. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). A Work in Progress. Another Waste of Time. The Elucidated Ponderings of an Apathetic Mind. Insert Snappy Title Here]. Pardon the Egg Salad. Summer of Adventure, Lifetime of Fun. That Chick Over There. Best Meal. Ever. Cats and Floors do not Mix. I Couldn't Agree More.
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Butter No Parsnips: March 2012
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Wednesday, March 21, 2012. Ahh, the lazy man's vegetarianism. The rules are simple: If the answer to "Am I eating a dead animal? Is "No," then ur doin it right. However, if the answer is "No, because he's still alive," then you are a sick fuck and not. A vegetarian. A. I've eaten tastier plastics, thank you. A. Ovo vegetarians are without the moxy of a vegan yet lack the easy-goingness of the "Don't mind me, I'll just order the cheese pizza/fettuccine alfredo/fried mozzarella" ovo-lactos. I'm sure yo...
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Butter No Parsnips: June 2012
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Saturday, June 9, 2012. Build Your Wings on the Way Down. In the 6th grade, I fell in love with Ray Bradbury. By T Coraghessan Boyle was memorable because parts were funny, but there were sexy bits I didn't understand. I probably remember it because of the confusion and the not wanting to ask my parents what was really going on. I thought, has feelings just like mine. I think he knows me already. How many times have we competed with a motherfucking screen to gain someone's acknowledgement? The only other...
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Butter No Parsnips: May 2012
http://butternoparsnips.blogspot.com/2012_05_01_archive.html
Tuesday, May 1, 2012. The End of the Middle. I've seen a quivering mass of Jell-o hold up better! Then I say " You have no idea what I was like on the inside. ANYWAY I felt like I couldn't say one thing to people and the truth to the internets. But I couldn't lie to the internets either, I mean, who does that? Secondly, I was afraid that every post I wrote about school would devolve into "You guuuuysss, it's so haaaaarrrrrrrrrd. I mean, soooooooo hard! Which is one reason I'm on blogger!
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Butter No Parsnips: January 2010
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Friday, January 22, 2010. The Ratings: Simple Machines. What part of simple don't you understand, pulley? You never track straight and you're never there when I need you. Also, do you know how hard you are to rig up in a jiffy? Inclined to do what, exactly? I had a lot of experience with inclined planes in Physics I, and they're inclined to just lie there while someone else does all the work. However, it makes movie theaters wheelchair-accessible. Props for that. C. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).
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Butter No Parsnips: Epiphany. Or something.
http://butternoparsnips.blogspot.com/2010/10/epiphany-or-something.html
Sunday, October 17, 2010. Epiphany. Or something. I thought I'd post a random thought, but I couldn't remember my password to log-in. And I was all "I don't need you to email me my password, Blogger! I'm better than that! Because, you know, that would show weakness and I'd be attacked by a bear even sooner than I anticipated. And then I remembered my password. But I used it with the wrong user name. That is all. Good night. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). A Work in Progress. Another Waste of Time.
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Butter No Parsnips: The End of the Middle
http://butternoparsnips.blogspot.com/2012/05/end-of-middle.html
Tuesday, May 1, 2012. The End of the Middle. I've seen a quivering mass of Jell-o hold up better! Then I say " You have no idea what I was like on the inside. ANYWAY I felt like I couldn't say one thing to people and the truth to the internets. But I couldn't lie to the internets either, I mean, who does that? Secondly, I was afraid that every post I wrote about school would devolve into "You guuuuysss, it's so haaaaarrrrrrrrrd. I mean, soooooooo hard! Which is one reason I'm on blogger!
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Butter No Parsnips: June 2010
http://butternoparsnips.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html
Thursday, June 10, 2010. Point of No Return. In a matter of days, I will begin graduate classes for physical therapy. I began preparing to apply to this program just over three years ago, and I will graduate in just under three years. What will the stress of work school do to my marriage? Will I still be agnostic, or will I be atheist? Or muster a belief in God? What will I weigh? The time has come to put on my big girl pants and grab school by the throat. Monday, June 7, 2010. Wednesday, June 2, 2010.